*** Decisions, Decisions, Decisions***

It's safe to say that the last two months have been absolutely hectic! From allergic reactions to ucas deadlines to hospital admissions, it has been non stop! But I am happy to say that things are FINALLY looking up. I returned to school after what felt like forever ( it was about a month) and I was so nervous. But it didn't take me long to get back into the swing of essays and coursework haha! Everybody was so welcoming and understanding, my teachers have been great also. Self - doubt is a major problem of mine. I constantly think I am not doing enough academically and that causes me to feel so much pressure that is just not needed! But after a talk with my sociology teacher, I realised that I am doing enough and I am trying my best which is all you need to do sometimes! 

It was an achievement deciding to go back to school as for a small second I thought I wouldn't be able to go back. But I have come too far to not finish school! 

From my hospital admission, my consultant decided to put me on Home IntraVenous (IVs) antibiotics until the end of my exams ( 26th June). Initially, I was very scared about this and I kind of felt more of a 'patient' but I had to think to myself 'Nubi, it is actually making you better' !!! I can already tell that are making such a huge difference as I am feeling a lot better and I definitely have so much more energy. This was also a hard decision and adjustment as I thought that my social life had somewhat been taken away but it hasn't. It has made my social life stronger as I now have the strength and energy to go out with my friends and finally be able to return to dance this week!  I have decided to also defer my place at university. I feel like the last four years have been such a rollercoaster and the last two years have been extremely unpredictable.

It was such a scary decision but ultimately I feel it will benefit me as I can take the time out to relax and recharge my batteries. 

In a weird way, I am glad that this hospital admission happened as it made me re-evaluate so much in my life. I realised that my passion for working with children may actually be more centred to teaching rather than nursing. So in this gap year my main goal is to 'find myself'. It probably sounds so cliche but it is true! Alongside resting, I am aiming to do more of what makes me happy such as writing and meeting new people, and potentially figuring out my career path . The last few months have made me realise that sometimes we have to go through the toughest and darkest times to make us realise what we really want to achieve in life. I am so glad I started this blog to share this journey with you all and I cannot wait to share the next chapter of my life. Thank you all for your support and kindness as always. All my love, Nubes xxx